One would get into far fewer arguments, if whenever one thought, “Wrong!! Wrong, wrong, wrong!” one changed it to, “I don’t understand … but I’d like to.”
Dear LeeSun,
I have an advice blog (sort of) but I’m not sure if anybody really reads it. Also, I’ve run out of questions from readers. I haven’t had any questions in over a month. Should I quit?
LLC
Dear LLC,
Clearly you are a thinly disguised alter ego of mine.
I would not quit.
Yet.
This post is proof of that.
Dear LeeSun,
It’s the end of the world. What would you do?
Curious
Dear C,
I would look for my baby to make sure he was okay. So I guess it wouldn’t be very different from most other days for me.
Dear LeeSun,
I am living with the housemate from hell. She is driving me insane. She never goes out of the house. She is constantly watching over my shoulder. She criticizes everything I do. She makes snide comments constantly about everything, like about what I’m wearing, who I’m dating, my friends, what I eat. I’ve started hiding out in my room, or trying to stay out as much as I can. Please help! What would you do????
I think this calls for a three point action plan. 1) I would confront her. I would make a list of things I didn’t think were acceptable and ask her to please refrain from doing them. I would give specific examples. And if that didn’t work, 2) I would shave her head while she was asleep and hope that she moved out. And if that didn’t work either, 3) I would move out.
Dear LeeSun,
I’m a musician with a serious problem. I’ve been performing most of my life, and have always had a bit of performance anxiety, but over the past year it has got out of control. I get clammy hands, my mind goes blank, I play terribly. I really want to perform, but it has become such a heinous experience. I hate it. On the other hand, performing is such an important part of being a musician and I really don’t want to give it up.
What would you do?
Yours truly,
Sick To My Stomach
Dear STMS,
Wow, that is an age-old issue for musicians and performers. I fully sympathise. I would probably quit performing if I wasn’t enjoying it, and I’d find something that I did enjoy. But you say that you don’t want to give it up. Oh well.
How about going to the other extreme and performing every chance that you can? Every day, try to find someone who will listen to you perform something … a friend, a stranger passing by, your mother, anyone who will listen to you perform for even just a few minutes. Also, practicing more, and trying different practice techniques so that you really know your music inside out and backwards can help build confidence.
And if none of that works, … well you know what I would do 
But I hope it doesn’t come to that for you!
Dear LeeSun,
I think I’m depressed. I just feel down a lot. I used to go for walks whenever I felt like this but the weather is so awful at the moment that I don’t even do that. Life really sucks right now. What would you do?
Hi. It’s hard to say without knowing more details. But I might see a doctor or a counselor and see if they might be able to help. Or I might talk to a friend whom I trusted to be supportive and encouraging. I’d also think about what sorts of activities I enjoy (besides walks) and spend some time each day doing those things.
My friend Sonya is a counselor. Sonya says that depression and anxiety are two of the most treatable conditions through counseling. She and her hubby (doctor) have written a fab book called The Rest of Health … I’m working through the book at the moment myself … maybe you’d find it useful? It approaches health from a Christian perspective, but I think it’s got loads of insight and practical tips on emotional/physical/mental/spiritual health that would be useful for anybody with an open mind seeking to be healthier!
While I wait for the questions to roll in (come on, send in your questions!), I might as well talk …
My fave TV show these days is Being Erica. It’s great. I’ve watched all of season one, and the first six episodes of season two.
Erica starts out in such a bad space, so messed up and stressed out and unhappy, and one episode at a time, things change … she changes … And she starts to make different decisions, feel differently, cope differently. It’s inspiring.
The show is pretty preachy, but I like that. Preaching done well can be very enjoyable.
In LeeSun Music News: I’m writing a song for Erica.
Dear LeeSun,
It’s your birthday. You are (of course) almost ready to go on stage and entertain with your gift of song. You’re premiering several new songs that you’ve worked hard to perfect and are enormously excited to share them with the world.
The program is the best you’ve ever done. The building is beyond acoustically immaculate. Your hair is done, your carefully selected clothing fits perfectly (emphasizing and de-emphasizing exactly where you want it to) and the crowd anxiously awaits your entrance. Does it get any better than this? Baby gets one last cuddle and kiss just off stage and happens to have one of those diaper moments where everything explodes from everywhere!
Baby poop is now oozing into those carefully selected seams and running down your birthday best into your shoes. The aroma has yet to reach the crowd but because of the (un)fortunate acoustics everyone has heard the gaseous eruption and subsequent exclamation of surprise.
What would you do?
Well, since becoming a mother, my perspective on everything has changed enormously. Maybe it’s the hormones, but somehow it’s now always ‘baby first’ and everybody else can wait. But why make people wait, if there’s no need?
I would probably grab some baby wetwipes and trot my stinky self and baby onto stage so that everybody else could share in the fun. I would apologise to the awaiting crowd for the delay, explain there had been an accident, then proceed to strip baby, wipe him down, pass him safe and sound to someone else, then clean myself off as best as poss. I would do all of that at supersonic speed, then go straight into my first song.
Wetwipes are a miraculous all-purpose invention, good for cleaning the most hair-curling messes, and of course, poop!
Hi LeeSun! I’m an aspiring fine art photographer currently doing a project called “Interiors” where I photograph subjects nude in their own homes. It’s kind of a cross between what Martin Parr does, with some Ruth Bernhard and a little bit of Nan Goldin thrown in there too.
Anyway, I’ve advertised locally and got tonnes of men willing to get their kit off for the camera, but hardly any women. I want to photograph an equal number of men and women subjects for this project. What would you do?
I’d probably feel a bit weird photographing people nude, so first of all, I would give myself huge kudos for venturing outside my comfort zone and undertaking such a Highly Artistic venture.
But if, like you, I were dead set on photographing the same number of men as women, and not many women were forthcoming for the project, I would employ the following strategies:
1) Start by photographing a man. That would buy me some more time, and give me something to do, while waiting for more women to step up.
2) Try a few ads, all worded differently, to see if any are more effective in drawing out the fairer sex. For example, “Fine art photographer seeks women willing to be photographed nude in their own homes. This is not a dodgy ad to get you into the sex industry. This is FINE ART, a la Martin Parr, Ruth Bernhard, Nan Goldin et al. If you do not know who these people are, google them. And if you’re interested in modeling, please contact me. What will you get out of this? No money. Maybe a laugh, maybe the fun of trying something new, and some photos that you may like (or not) of you nude in your home.”
3) And finally, if the genius ad above didn’t work, I would stop waiting for nude ladies to come to me … I would go to where the nude ladies were. Maybe a nudist colony?
Dear LeeSun,
Now that the weather is getting colder, what should I do with my summer clothes? Should I still wear them and layer them up? Stick them in the loft? Or throw caution to the wind and give them away?
Keeping them in my wardrobe and drawers takes up loads of space and just makes it harder to get dressed in the mornings.
What would you do?
I am facing the same dilemma. And I’ve decided to go through all my stuff, be it clothing or whatever, and try to keep only what I love. So any beloved summer clothing will be stored in a nice big plastic storage box in the loft. And anything that doesn’t make the grade will either:
1) Be sold on eBay (if it is a highly sought after designer item)
2) Be put into my “clothing swap” stash, to be traded at the Leeds Community Clothing Exchange for items I want
3) Be put into my Gambian donations bag; every so often, my MIL sends a container load of donations to a Gambian community which will gratefully make use of donated clothing etc.
If you have stuff you want to give away, you can give it to me and I will dispose of it via the three above options!
