Breast is Best?

I hope to get back to answering questions and emails soon on here, but I’ve got a few other things to sort out first. So in the meantime, a funny KO story …

KO is my 2 and a half year old boy. He’s currently in a phase of wanting to be a baby. In any given day, he declares, “Mummy I want to be a baby!!” And he’s fascinated with stories about himself as a baby. He wants to see his baby photos and baby videos and if in the photos or videos, he’s playing with a baby toy, he asks to play with the toy again.

He actually pretends to be a baby for about a minute on any given day. He jumps into my arms and curls up and actually says, “Goo goo goo goo goo” and then laughs uproariously.

Today we had a convo that went like this:

KO: Mummy, what’s that? (pointing at my chest)
Me: That’s my breast.
KO: And that’s where I got baby milk?
Me: Yes, that’s right.
KO: Please can I have baby milk NOW?
Me: No, baby milk is just for babies. Anyway, I haven’t got any more baby milk?
KO: Is that ’cause when I was a baby I drank it all up?
Me: Yes, that’s right.
KO: Until there was no more?
Me: Yes.
KO: And now there are NO MORE BABIES.
Me: That’s right.
KO: Please can we have another baby?? Please, right NOW? A brother! Please can I have a brother NOW?
Me: No.

I’m not sure where he got the idea of drinking up all the milk from. I guess when I said there was no more, it seemed to make sense to him that he’d exhausted the supply.

KO was breastfed till a few weeks before his second birthday. Exclusively till 6 months, and then in addition to other foods after that. I used to wear breastfeeding tops (mainly made by BOOB Maternity), and as fab as the tops were, I used to look longingly at all the nice things in my wardrobe which were not breastfeeding-friendly and long for the day when I could wear whatever I liked. But I kept up the feeding for as long as I did because it was a huge source of comfort for KO and provided instant calming / soothing anytime he needed. He never attached to a blanket, or toy. It was the breast he needed / wanted whenever he was distressed.

Just before his second birthday, we explained to KO that breast milk was for babies and he was a big boy, so he wouldn’t be having it any more. He accepted it quickly … just one or two tantrums over the course of a day or two, and after that, he would request it from time to time, but without any expectation of receiving it. I suppose he thought it was worth asking, just in case.

Amazing how the memory lingers for him. At the moment, he must be craving that sort of snuggled in warmth and comfort that he remembers from babyhood. How quickly he’s growing up …

Being Erica S03E04

Okay, back to Being Erica. Something dawned on me while watching one of the recent episodes.

Warning (possible) **SPOILERS** below:

There’s an interesting thing that Adam says … I think it’s in episode 4 … or was it 3?? He says that he died … officially flatlined … and upon waking in the hospital, met Dr Tom. Sounds familiar …..? Hmmm …???

Yep. Series 1, Episode 1. Erica has an an anaphylactic reaction to some nuts in a Starbucks drink or cookie or something, and passes out, ends up in hospital, and when she wakes up Dr Tom is there.

Is it obvious to anybody else? Anybody else thinking what I’m thinking?

If not, here’s another thought:

Series 3 also reveals (if you haven’t guessed already) that all the patients eventually become doctors. And yes, all the doctors have gone through the very same therapy themselves.

Well??

Okay I’ll just spit it out.

This is what I think. Everybody’s dead. Being Erica is a show about an afterlife. And now it all makes sense, right?

So that’s what I think.

The Not-So-Secret Secrets of Being Attractive

Dear LeeSun,

What do you find attractive in a person? How can I be more attractive?

B.

Dear B,

I think happiness is incredibly attractive. Happy people also have more personal resources for relationships, than unhappy people. So they’re more patient, more understanding, more supportive … and that’s very attractive. I guess if you want to be happy (or happier), have a think about what makes you truly happy and go from there. I don’t mean things like enjoying getting drunk off your head because it gives you a break from your unhappiness/life. I mean the sort of things that would make you so happy that you wouldn’t feel the need to get drunk in the first place (though you still might from time to time).

I’ve also got a soft spot for people who are articulate, who communicate well, and are wise. By ‘wise’ I mean able to make good decisions and behave like a grown up when necessary. But that’s just me. If you wanted to be more attractive to me, I suppose you could work on your listening skills and communication skills … www.videojug.com has got some great little tips on how to do that.

If you want to be more attractive in general, there are the tried and tested basics, such as taking good care of yourself. Wash regularly, find a hairstyle that suits you, look after your personal hygiene, dress in a way that you find comfortable but also flatters you, eat healthily and exercise regularly. I think everybody is attracted to nice-smelling, clean healthy happy people. Of course, sometimes people are willing to overlook a lack of those things, if something else about you is particularly engaging or attractive to them … for example if you are fabulously wealthy. But those are quirks, not the rule.

Hope that answers your question?

LeeSun

Happiness

Dear LeeSun,

What makes you happy?

Bert

Ah Bert, … what a question! So many things …

the sound of a rhodes played well
sleeping when tired
staying up when tired b/c being awake is so fun
food prepared with love
beautiful stationery, lovely pens
feeling understood
sharing good things, good times
humour
my boy
getting work done, and done well
generosity, in myself and in others
safe spaces
rollerblading
picnics in lovely places
kindness
being inspired or inspiring

Most of all, simple things … being able to appreciate the freedoms and security and joys that I often take for granted. For me, happiness and thankfulness are intertwined. And taking a moment to think about that always helps, if I’m ever down.

Thanks for asking.

A Peace That Passes Understanding

One would get into far fewer arguments, if whenever one thought, “Wrong!! Wrong, wrong, wrong!” one changed it to, “I don’t understand … but I’d like to.”

Quality Source Material Needed

Dear LeeSun,

I have an advice blog (sort of) but I’m not sure if anybody really reads it. Also, I’ve run out of questions from readers. I haven’t had any questions in over a month. Should I quit?

LLC

Dear LLC,

Clearly you are a thinly disguised alter ego of mine.

I would not quit.

Yet.

This post is proof of that.

… As We Know It

Dear LeeSun,

It’s the end of the world. What would you do?

Curious

Dear C,

I would look for my baby to make sure he was okay. So I guess it wouldn’t be very different from most other days for me.

Housemate From Hell

Dear LeeSun,

I am living with the housemate from hell. She is driving me insane. She never goes out of the house. She is constantly watching over my shoulder. She criticizes everything I do. She makes snide comments constantly about everything, like about what I’m wearing, who I’m dating, my friends, what I eat. I’ve started hiding out in my room, or trying to stay out as much as I can. Please help! What would you do????

I think this calls for a three point action plan. 1) I would confront her. I would make a list of things I didn’t think were acceptable and ask her to please refrain from doing them. I would give specific examples. And if that didn’t work, 2) I would shave her head while she was asleep and hope that she moved out. And if that didn’t work either, 3) I would move out.

When Sonny Gets Blue

Dear LeeSun,

I think I’m depressed. I just feel down a lot. I used to go for walks whenever I felt like this but the weather is so awful at the moment that I don’t even do that. Life really sucks right now. What would you do?

Hi. It’s hard to say without knowing more details. But I might see a doctor or a counselor and see if they might be able to help. Or I might talk to a friend whom I trusted to be supportive and encouraging. I’d also think about what sorts of activities I enjoy (besides walks) and spend some time each day doing those things.

My friend Sonya is a counselor. Sonya says that depression and anxiety are two of the most treatable conditions through counseling. She and her hubby (doctor) have written a fab book called The Rest of Health … I’m working through the book at the moment myself … maybe you’d find it useful? It approaches health from a Christian perspective, but I think it’s got loads of insight and practical tips on emotional/physical/mental/spiritual health that would be useful for anybody with an open mind seeking to be healthier!

Being Erica

While I wait for the questions to roll in (come on, send in your questions!), I might as well talk …

My fave TV show these days is Being Erica. It’s great. I’ve watched all of season one, and the first six episodes of season two.

Erica starts out in such a bad space, so messed up and stressed out and unhappy, and one episode at a time, things change … she changes … And she starts to make different decisions, feel differently, cope differently. It’s inspiring.

The show is pretty preachy, but I like that. Preaching done well can be very enjoyable.

In LeeSun Music News: I’m writing a song for Erica.